Good Morning

It's nice this morning. My plant Georgina is getting a bit of sun, I've just finished the papers and coffee. I had a lovely dinner last night with Baba, B, N, S and D and that's all I want really. Nice dinner, nice company, a little bit of wine. I am not the working sort. Unless...

A told me to write a script in two days and give it to him. Which is kind of much, because a) he's already written his own script for the same film and b) my brain, despite being happy of late, still writes from a dark, dark place. So, I don't know, but I will give it a shot. This kind of work is happy.

My baby film is demanding. I love it to bits, but fuck, it's a screamer. I need it to go to sleep now. I need the fizz to settle.

It feels weird to say this, but I finally feel settled in. Like I did in Bangalore. I know it's temporary, and this feeling will be shattered with the next missed deadline or fuckup at work, but I feel calmer about being here. Maybe it has to do with the fact that quit plans are ahead. Maybe its because I finally worked on something where I felt I needed. Maybe its because D's in town and we cook together more often and have re-done up our home. For what it's worth, I'm happy. Even if it isn't all there tomorrow.

I'm looking forward to travel. Loads of it. Soonly.

Are you worried about the verdict today?

I cannot do parties. I cannot. I get bored at them. And I can't make an effort to make them interesting. I'm a thrill freeloader, not a provider. I can only entertain if I really like you, and/or you may have seen in me in my underwear at some point of time in my life. So yeah.
I've been missing college of late, and so decided to call over some old friends from the old school. And I was happy, because we made excellent happy drunks and generally got along. But I think an hour into this intermingling of two very different crowds, I started getting angsty. There was this weird vibe and I just wanted them to leave so that everyone could relax. I like all of them. But you just shouldn't mix friends. No-one is a potato.
I miss the college fun. It was simpler. It was within a routine. It was speckled with exams and serious shit. Life now is like La Dolce Vita. Absofuckinglutely out of control. I am an old, serious woman of routine and method. Push me out of the line and I'm like Mrs. Thurlow. Don't disorient me if you can help it. I have a library personality.

I am so crazy bored right now. Of Bombay, of work, of the sameness. I need to travel somewhere. But work is like a leech. I can't let go, without them letting go of me. Dratz.

Big ad coming up. Extremely superstitious, so not going to blabber about it.

Happily, I have a fair amount of responsibility this time, but man, it is SO easy to fuck up. Fingers crossed.

I have to pay rent this month, and I'm looking at my account now and it's quite abysmal. I need to do a little something on the side. Money, or the lack thereof is my little drama.

Also, there's no fun cooking just for yourself. I haven't replenished my grocery for more than a week now. There was some bread lying in the fridge for a while, and I decided to make something with it, but wait, what's that blue stuff around the edges? Whatever it was - it was enough to kill my appetite completely.

And remember how when you were in school and sometimes forgot to take out your tiffin box? You know, inevitably the days you had some bits left over? Yeah. So I did that a lot. And some things haven't changed. I decided to be healthy etc, and took some fruit in a little tiffin box, but decided not to eat a few stray grapes. And a week later - voila! I have my own little vineyard in there.

Sigh. I hate spoiled food.

Anyway. What's this news about Keanu Reeves hooking up with Charlize Theron? I love Keanu Reeves. I want to smoke him up.

BH

Today I got to meet a director I always kind of wanted to meet. I wasn’t superbly excited or disappointed as such – but it felt a bit surreal, just being there in his room, jotting down notes and looking at all the cool posters on his wall.
For some weird reason I remembered this day my grandfather and I were in his Toyota - he was driving, I was in the front seat, and I said quite petulantly that, it was AmitA Bachchan, not AmitaBH Bachchan. Somehow the BH felt kind of unnecessary. Like a nose seemed unnecessary when you were drawing a face, because it would make it look ugly.
I found it strange and sweet and funny and sad that I should be sitting there, writing notes with a poker face, when all I wanted to do was be crazy happy and do a jig and tell my grandfather, D, look where I am, look where I am – look where I’m sitting and trying to keep a straight face. But I am not awestruck. I’m as petulant and snobbish and sceptical as I was as a 4 year old. But still, D, I wish I could tell you – you’d get it.