2010, more than any year, has been a year of false starts. I had a feeling, I was poised for so many things wonderful, but I think I just let them all go. Easy come. Easy go.
I keep bumping into people in Calcutta I think I know. I've seen them somewhere, like maybe when I was in college, or in Facebook Albums of popular kids. And I'm certain they wouldn't remember - even though we may have spoken a couple of times. Isn't that horrible? They either think I'm a huge snob, or a little weird in any case. I hate being that way.
I'm planning to spend my new year's eve in a way I used to when I was a kid. Watching TV. Maybe add a couple of movies and alcohol in for good measure. Confession: it totally sucks being the only single person in a room full of not single people. I mean, I'm okay with the way it is - but I hate the post 12 o'clock kiss awkwardness. I'd really, really rather watch a movie.
I think I miss someone, a little more than I thought I would. I didn't think my moment of epiphany would happen in the can, with an Archie comic in my hand. Actually no. That's exactly how it should have happened, and it did. Either way, fuck. It's too tragic. I'll start becoming like Supriya debi in Meghe Dhaka Tara, screaming "Dada ami baachte chai!" with the camera swish panning around insanely around the mountains. I don't want to get TB and become a martyr. Please, please no.
I have some nice new clothes now, a watch, fake but cute sunglasses, lots of books and a shit load of films. If I only lost some weight, I think I'd be fairly happy. And I just had a beach vacation. With swimming. That's always good. The winter's been nice so far, although I strangely long for a bit of the Delhi cold. I have Body Shop Body Butter - strawberry at that - which is something I've wanted forever. I have been smoke free for 9 days and counting. I wake up late. I'm not working. Life's okay, no?
Have a happy new year everyone. It might just work out okay.
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