Planet Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do

I think I can listen to Space Oddity on loop forever in my hell. David Bowie gives me hope, with his confused sexuality and strange hair and stranger songs.

I've done it. I've crossed a new threshold of boredom and joblessness. I'm doing nothing and I don't know how I'm doing it for so long. I'm amazing me. I wish I was an astronaut sometimes.

I just don't want my parents to discover me one day drug addicted and morbidly obese, a sociopath and secret stasher of rotten food. I've already lovingly preserved a half eaten amla and called it Fungus, for obvious reasons. I think I would have made a great scientist.

I think I am about to burst.

Truth is, no-one likes these.